The first few weeks after Ruth was born went pretty well. As a brand newborn she slept almost constantly except for feeding time.. that was nice and enabled me to rest and heal up from the surgery. I was even able to attend a few Spanish classes a week or so after she was born! I really desired to stay as involved in Spanish studies as I could as we adjusted to being a two kid family. Well.. things have just gotten crazier and crazier as Ruthie gets older. For the last two months I have felt completely fried mentally. The combination of hormonal changes, being preoccupied with a little babies well being, taking care of a toddler, cooking and cleaning, and trying to function in another country in another language has just been a lot to handle! And on top of that, trying to be intentional about our independent devotional time and our marriage... Don and I have decided that hearing one child cry is painful.. but when you have two children fussing, crying or throwing a fit at the same time for even just 5 minutes it drains you so much you feel like you need to just lay on the couch for a week. Of course.. we are not permitted that luxury! But we have had some stressful days to put it simply.
I was very discouraged with myself and my progress (or lack of) in Spanish too. I have not been able to put much intentional time into my Spanish studies or language sessions since Ruth was born, and of course I shouldn't expect to make progress if I am not studying much.. but I didn't expect to backslide... I just have to say that baby brain is a real thing.. My brain has not been firing at full capacity. And every time I become determined to get some study time in the kids seem to have a bad day or Ruthie won't sleep. :( I have to remind myself this is just a stage..
THANKFULLY, things seem to be looking up a little. Over the last few weeks I feel like my brain fog is dissipating and I have had some good interactions in Spanish that have helped to encourage me and motivate me to hang in there! I think I am going to be able to get more Spanish time in and start making more progress.
My biggest prayers right now are that Lily will start playing more independently for longer periods of time so I can focus on study for at least a few hours a day. Second that Ruthie will fall into a better schedule soon. She is the sweetest little baby with a mild temperament which is GREAT! But she has been taking 1 hour naps for the last month or so.. and I need more time than that to really get my mind into my studies.
I know that my role as a mother is very important and I'm grateful for all the snuggles and fun I get to have with my girls each day.. but I deeply desire to learn this language so that I can communicate comfortably here and build deep relationships with our church friends, our neighbors, other missionaries here and eventually with the people group we end up working with.